Numair Masud

NM: I remember one of the really great things about being in love in Wales was being able to walk down Queen Street in Cardiff holding my lover's hand, which is something I would not have really been able to do in Pakistan without danger of being mobbed. So that was a very liberating experience, it was an unusual experience. And being able to dance with your partner in a gay club was a very liberating experience. Being able to march in Pride in Cardiff with your loved one is a very liberating experience, something I would never have been able to do in Pakistan without serious consequences. But then also walking down the street hand in hand with your lover and having a bunch of lads sort of yell sexually explicit things at you and try to threaten you, you know, wanting you to join them in an alleyway to have some fun, and you know what that means, that, you know, you're in for serious trouble. But also realizing that there are...there is aggression aimed at the LGBTQ+ community even over here. And these weren't...you know, these were white Welsh people who were doing it. So, you know, these weren't some ethnic minority people who were yelling at us, these were, you know, very white, you know, young lads who think they're tough, you know, gangsters, sort of trying to show their bravado, their masculinity by being anti-LGBTQ+. Again, I haven't experienced that very much, it is a rarity, but I saw that as well. I saw that side of Wales, I saw that side of the anti-LGBTQ nature of things. So, that's a concrete example of something that really stands out in a happy way, lying in the grass in Bute Park of Cardiff, you know, hand in hand, looking up at the clouds, looking into your lover's eyes, which is very freeing, very liberating. But also then thinking about, is this the right place to be holding your hand? Because, you know, it's a football match on, and you see a lot of drunk, rowdy guys around you, you know, so...and some of them really stare, not necessarily in a pleasant way when you’re...when a Brown and a Black man are holding hands, that is...it really stands out in a sea of white. It really does. And when there's a football match or a rugby match, you get a lot of attention, not always pleasant. You know, a lot of people wolf-whistling at you, mostly guys, or, you know...not necessarily in an aggressive way, but you never know. Why is someone looking at you like that? Why is someone whistling at you like that? So seeing both sides of that was interesting.

MP: Can you give me a memory that sticks out that you've had with Glitter Cymru, whether that's a recent one or a historical one, something to do with the organization?

NM: I think, for me, what really sticks out is seeing my picture that was taken with Glitter Cymru in a museum. That really sticks out to me, because I didn't expect to be in a museum, firstly, so that was really bizarre. Not something one aspires for. But that sticks out to me. But more importantly it's the memory associated with that picture. The fact that we were in a Pride, the first ever LGBTQ Pride in Barry, it was, it was the first ever Pride in Barry. And we as Glitter Cymru were over there to represent. And that was a historical moment. And that really sticks out to me, being on the beach in Barry, and at the time with a dear friend of mine whom I still love and I dated, actually. And he took the picture, so it was interesting that that picture was taken by someone whom I love and is LGBTQ+, and is a dear friend of mine. And then that picture was represented in a museum as a part of history. So that really sticks out to me. And I...seeing that in St Fagans Museum in Wales is really moving, it's very touching. That unintentionally you end up becoming part of history without realizing it, really. And that means something to me, to be with such a diverse group of people who are trying to make a difference in the world.

MP: And so does it mean something to you to be part of...to be written into Welsh history?

NM: It does. All of us represent a moment in history. But the fact that I'm represented is a huge privilege, and I never expected it. I certainly can't say I wanted it. But the reason it's important for me is because all human beings are storytellers, we all have a story to tell. And there's always something to be learned from that story. You...when you realize that all of us, now more than ever, have to come together in this global society of ours and have an opportunity to tell our stories. And some of us have more privileges than others, and those privileges means that some of us get to tell those stories louder and more often than others. And some people's stories are just never told. And I, as a gay, Brown, former refugee, you know, just never had that opportunity. But then I see so many of my friends who don't have the courage, who don't have the capacity to be on a platform to tell their stories. And I try to encourage them to do so. And a lot of my activism has been about that, to look...to encourage people to tell their story. If they're comfortable, of course, because we also have to acknowledge that sometimes people don't want to tell their story. But also trying to understand what are the consequences of that? What are the consequences of your story not being told, of you not having the opportunity to speak your truth? What does that mean? And I don't necessarily know if I have the answer. Some people just pass through this life totally silently, we never hear of them, we never know of their suffering. And perhaps there's no one there to help them. And that is how I felt. I remember in Bristol where there no one really was hearing me, no one was really listening to me. And that feeling of isolation. I don't necessarily want people to feel that way. But then also realizing it's not about me. So, you know, it's...that was my experience. And I don't necessarily want to assume that other people will feel that way, but I do want to encourage people, through representing myself, that other people should have the opportunity to express themselves, to tell their story and try to understand their place in the world. How can they make a difference to whichever community they belong to? How do we give back to a world that is struggling? The human world is struggling in so many ways. How can we give back? That's always meant something to me.

• Glitter Cymru

Entry credit

Zareena Pundole