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Dev Padam
Dev Padam, born in Pakistan, entered a mixed marriage in 1968
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About
Dev Padam was born in what is now Pakistan, and in the UK entered a mixed marriage in 1968.
Dev Padam was interviewed in 1999 by Andy Vivian for the Millennium Memory Bank, the largest recording project in the history of British radio. It ran from 1998 to 1999, capturing the pulse of the century through the voices of thousands of people from all walks of life. More than 5,000 interviews were recorded with people from all over the United Kingdom; extracts were used in the radio programme series The Century Speaks and the full interviews are archived at the British Library under collection reference number C900. Dev Padam’s interview is British Library reference C900/04555, © BBC
Listen to Dev talking about marrying his wife in 1968, despite their mixed marriage not having the approval of her family.
Interview conducted by Andy Vivian, 1999.
DP: I used to go dancing school locally, and used to meet different people. And met this girl up there, and sort of continued courting her in a sense for a year or so. There were no promises made of any nature at the time because I wasn't sure what my mother's going to do. Because incidentally, my father had died suddenly in 1963, and so it was only my mother to listen to. Had it been my father, perhaps the things would have been different. He would have listened to what I had to say, and probably done the way things I wanted. But my mother didn't come round to my ideas, so in the end I decided that...I mean, I was getting on 29 at the time so I thought, well, it's time I got married. So I decided that the girl I was courting, I will marry her. And I informed my mother. And she wrote me back, 'Well, if that's the way you want, you go ahead with my blessings'. But I had a lot of problems from the other side, my wife's parents, they were not really willing. But I suppose in the end, when you are over 21 in this country, parents have very little to say. So it was decided that in 1968, in September that we got married. We had between ourselves and some friends decided that we are going to have our own reception and do the things our own way, because her parents would have none of it, my parents weren't here, all I had were a few friends. And in the end, an aunt of my wife decided that if her father is not going to do it, they are going to do the reception, and so they did in their own house, which was a surprise, and I think very nice of them. And we got married, we happily married with, you know, friends around and the family. But unfortunately, it took a long time for her parents to come round. They are okay now, but things were very difficult. Because one must remember, a mixed marriage in this country, especially an outsider like an Asian, wasn't heard of. It was very rare. And I can fully understand the situation her parents were in. But again, when a girl is over 21, she's entitled do what she wants to. And as you can see, it was 1968 we were married, and we are still together with one daughter. We can't ask for more.
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Entry credit
Laura Owen
